As the days pass by I get annoyed. There is no movement in our adoption right now. I make that walk to the mailbox everyday in hopes to find our approved immigration papers in the mail. It seems as if it will never come even though I know it takes time. If it arrives today we still have to walk it through the sealing process and that in it self will be two more months. I have had such high hopes to see our Wei Wei before she turns 10 and have her spend Christmas with us this year. I also know even if it comes in the mail today and somehow finish the sealing process of the document by end of October that there is also the translation and preparing of all documents to be sent to China. At best we are then looking at end of November. At that point China has to start & accept it and then approve travel. Then we get an US Embassy appointment in China before travel could take place.
It seems like it will never end. That we will never get to the point of being in the city of Zhengzhou. Sitting and eagerly waiting in a room for the door to open so we can see her face for the very first time. To be able to reach out and hold her hand in ours. It seems like just a dream that will never come true.
Psalms 31:14 reads “But I trust in You, Lord; I say, “You are my God.”” I read this verse this morning and it reminds me to not be anxious. That God is the one that set us on this journey. Yes, I think in my mind we are behind, we are delayed, we are off track for no reason. Why is government so slow? What good is a life if we are scared of disease. We shelter away and are so afraid to live life that we have no life. Why should a child who has waited 9 years for a family have to continue to wait when we are so ready to go get her? These are my thoughts when I don’t concentrate on Him. When I lose sight of who He is and that He is in charge my wait seems unbearable and useless. I need to use this time to prepare myself more. To ask Him what it is that I need to be learning while I wait. Will I praise Him while I wait or will I think I know better than Him. God has a different way of doing things than I do.
God forgive me for my impatience. May I trust you to lead me through my doubts. To focus on the gift of today and what I can do for those around me to bring glory to you and not to me. When I feel the urgency to worry and wonder about Wei Wei’s adoption may I treat it as a time to fast and spend time connecting with you. Lord I trust you for in Psalms 40 you tell us to wait patiently because you do hear us. You will give us a song of praise to sing and we will be happy if we put our trust in You and not man. Nothing can compare with You, Amen.